Professional Pirate
by RavenSara84
Summary: Britain finds himself having to tell America the difference between a Pirate and a Privateer, but Sealand wants to learn more about Jerkland's pirate life, but was he actually a pirate?


Professional

Pirate

Song from the Muppets Treasure Island

Arthur rubbed his head, unable to believe that he found himself having to tell America what the difference was between the pirates and privateers.

_I should never have opened the door_. He thought to himself, not noticing that his youngest brother had sneaked into the room.

"America, you were _alive_ when this happened," He began to say to his former colony; "Hell you even stowed away on my ship once, we had to return to port and make sure you didn't do it again,"

"That was _ages_ ago dude! Can't expect me to remember that!" America said, thinking it was obvious why he was asking, but Arthur just shook his head, even _he_ could still remember his childhood and that was a long time ago before America was truly around.

XXX

When I was just a lad looking for my true vocation  
>My father said "Now son, this choice deserves deliberation<br>Though you could be a doctor or perhaps a financier  
>My boy why not consider a more challenging career"<br>Hey ho ho  
>You'll cruise to foreign shores<br>And you'll keep your mind and body sound  
>By working out of doors<p>

XXX

With a sigh Arthur began to explain;

"A pirate was basically a thief, only he stole when he was at sea, so if they were arrested, and most of them were, then they were executed," Although it wasn't completely true, some pirates were given a burnt mark so that if they were east to identify later if they should escape, but he didn't want to go into such detail with America, it would just be painful.

For his head. America would and could ask some stupid questions.

"And a privateer?" He asked, trying to figure out the difference between them, he didn't think there was, they were the bad guys, pure and simple .

"They were still pirates," He saw America about to question him further so he spoke quickly to cut him off; "But they worked for the King, or Queen, and they would bring back what they plundered so the Royal Family would have their share of it, but they also give the privateers some of the loot too,"

America seemed satisfied with the answer and walked away, although he did invite him to see the new pirate movie out, but Arthur declined.

_The idiot will probably ask me the same question later tonight, why is he such a fool?_ He thought to himself. 

XXX

True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without  
>And when you're a professional pirate<br>That's what the job's about

XXX

He didn't understand the obsession with pirates, of course he'd lived as one of them, granted he had been a buccaneer, but that meant little, the rules were the exact same, fight the crew of the other ship, take the booty and bring it back to the Royals who would give you a cut of it and also you had no risk of losing your life.

He missed those days, those 'Golden Days' as he reminisced on them, not noticing that Sealand was now walking up to him, with questions of his own.

_Oh the good times we had against the Spanish, they were so sure of themselves too._ Arthur though with a fond smile.

XXX  
>Now take Sir Francis Drake, the Spanish all despise him<br>But to the British he's a hero and they idolize him  
>It's how you look at buccaneers that makes them bad or good<br>And I see us as members of a noble brotherhood  
>XXX<p>

"Britain, what are buccaneers?" Sealand interrupted his stroll down memory lane, having overheard the conversation with America and decided that it might be a chance to get on his brother's good side, it _might_ help to make him a nation!

Arthur just looked at the boy, knowing too well that Peter would have a trick of some kind up his sleeve, but right now he wasn't too bothered by it, he now knew most of the boys tricks and he was immune to a type of puppy dog eyes that Sealand didn't seem to realise _didn't_ work on him and hadn't done so since America was a young nation; "Buccaneers are the same as privateers, they worked in the Caribbean Sea area, specialising in attacking the Spanish merchant ships. Since we were at war with them it was fair gain," He explained, making it simple and not complicated, although he never thought it was to begin with, but sometimes with Sealand he was a bit like America, a bit slower than the other nations, or maybe a bit innocent.

"Both the Buccaneers and the Privateers avoided the death penalty because the King said so?"

"Exactly, get the King to agree and they had a very easy life, well, when you compare it to a pirates," Arthur commented and glanced at Peter; "No point in speaking to the Queen about making you a nation, we both know it doesn't work like that,"

"But…" Sealand began then stopped; "What about you? You were a Privateer right? What happened?"

XXX

Hey ho ho  
>We're honorable men<br>And before we lose our tempers we will always count to ten

XXX

"No," Arthur said sharply much to Sealand's surprise.

"But…" The young one began to protest.

"I was a Buccaneer not a Privateer. Frances Drake took the Privateers and I took on the Buccaneers, it meant that I was still close to America, he was still young at the time and I wanted to make sure he was all right," Arthur admitted, although he was sure that it was no secret among the nations that he had been very careful with America when he was a child, keeping him safe, even though he was ridiculously strong.

"So you were constantly attacking Spain," Sealand stated; "Then…" He tried to figure out the likely hood of being attacked by a pirate.

"Peter, pirates are still around, but not to the same extent as they were back then, you have nothing to fear, there are no pirates in our waters," He tried to reassure the boy but he just looked disappointed; "You wanted to fight a pirate didn't you?" He said drily.

"Of course!" Sealand stated, although he was upset by the fact that there was no pirates in their waters; "I could have been a nation for my…"

"_Think_. Fighting pirates isn't the same as fighting in a war. They kill, they are out for money, nothing else, not for their country, not for glory, just money," Arthur scolded him, although it did sound harsh, even to his ears but he didn't want the boy to do something stupid, nation or not he was still his young brother.

"But…"

XXX

On occasion there may be someone you have to execute  
>But when you're a professional pirate<br>You don't have to wear a suit... what?

I could have been a surgeon  
>I like taking things apart<br>I could have been a lawyer  
>But I just had too much heart<br>I could have been in politics  
>Cause I've always been a big spender<br>And me...I could have been a contender

XXX

"This isn't a movie Sealand," He continued with a sigh, looking out the window; "This isn't some stupid American movie where the good guy's win," He paused to figure out what else to say; "This is real, pirates will not fight the same way as they do on silver screen,"

"But times have changed…" Peter argued, thinking that the cinema showed the old fashioned version of pirates, the one's from Arthur's day.

"_Yes_, but believe me, although time has changed the essence of being a pirate has not. Trust me Sealand, you face a pirate and his crew, you are facing certain death," Arthur hadn't meant to be so blunt, he clearly saw fear in those blue eyes that were trying so hard to look brave; "Peter," He began again gently; "Don't fight any pirates, they aren't your problem…"

"But your people were attacked by them!"

"I know, but the world has moved on since my years as a Buccanner, everything has changed, these pirates will keep doing what they do, they do so because they have no choice," Arthur continued to say, seeing that his brother was calming down; "And my people might be attack by them but that doesn't mean my government will do nothing,"

"So, they aren't like the movies?" He asked to make sure what Arthur had said was true.

"You're old enough to know that the movie persona of pirates is false," Arthur reminded him; "I thought you better than that,"

XXX

Some say that pirates steal and should be feared and hated  
>I say we're victims of bad press it's all exaggerated<br>We'd never stab you in the back, we'd never lie or cheat  
>We're just about the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet<br>XXX 

_Hold on, did Britain just… _Sealand's eyes opened wide in surprise; "I thought you hated me!" He exclaimed and Arthur looked away.

"Of course I don't _hate_ you, stupid boy," Arthur said and looked at him and once more lectured him; "But no more foolishness! You should be smarter than that, I expected you to be a bit smarter than America at least!"

"So all pirates lie and cheat and should be hated?"

"No exceptions," Arthur agreed with a nod, pleased that Peter clearly understood what he was trying to say.

"But where does that put Buccaneers and Privateers?" He asked, slightly confused, since they were part pirate and yet were paid by the Crown.

"The same boat, anyone can lie and cheat and should be hated, _anyone._ Especially France," He added before continuing; "The difference is why they are doing it. Many men who became Privateers or Buccaneers did so to provide for their families or to see the world, or even both. Anyone can lie, anyone can cheat and _anyone_ can be hated,"

"So that was you too? You were hated; you also lied and cheated,"

Arthur smirked at the question, it was such a childish thing to ask; "Yes, that was me, it was also France, I would say Spain as well, but there were times when you had to wonder about that nation, if the lie was too big it was clear to see on his face," He shook his head to remove that memory, Spain, although his enemy for some time, was rather easy to read and yet at other times he was rather hard to read as well, it changed every time he saw him, back when Queen Mary was on the throne and her husband was the king of Spain, to when Elizabeth took the throne and the Spanish tried to make a match. Spain was different to most nations out there; to an extent Arthur respected him, although he'd never admit that out loud.

"So if…"

"No, for the last time Peter, _no_," He noticed the look Peter gave him was like that of a kicked puppy, but it had no effect on him, after all he raised _America_ of all nations; "None of the ideas that you are coming up with will help you become a nation,"

"I _will_ be a nation! You'll see!" He shouted.

Arthur was reminded of America at times, although Sealand was completely different to his former colony, Sealand was more disregarding, not really listening to what you said while America lapped up at all the attention and listened to what you said, although that didn't mean he took in _what _you had said of course.

"One day am sure you will be," He indulged his brother, knowing full well that as a fort, Sealand couldn't become a nation.

"Really?"

In his mind, Arthur chuckled, noticing that Sealand had already forgotten about his saying that _everyone_ lies.

"Perhaps one day you'll be a fine nation," Arthur decided to move the lie to a half truth, _you'd never know if could happen or not. _He thought to himself; "But right now?" He just looked at him and smiled, one of his rare genuine smiles; "Just have fun, trust me Sealand, when you grow up and become a nation, you might regret it,"

"I wouldn't!" He said cheerfully; "Why would I? You all get to hang out…"

"World meetings about the economy…"

"for days on end!"

"With your enemies," He thought, thinking of France.

"And I'd see you more often too!"

He blinked in surprise; "Wh… Pardon?"

"I don't see you that often, you keep dismissing me. In fact this is the longest that we've spoken for," Peter commented, trying to remember a time when they had conversed for so long and been unable to, aside from during the war, but that didn't count.

"I… I suppose so, why, does this disturb you?" He decided to tease the youngster, although unsure how he would take it, but that didn't matter, if Peter didn't like it he would make it obviously known and Arthur would back away and not talk to him for months on end.

"Well, yes. We don't _talk_, we insult each other and move on,"

"Maybe Buccaneers like to have longer conversations?"

At this Sealand grinned and settled down for Arthur to tell him a true story about his life on the seas.

XXX  
>Hey ho ho<br>It's one for all for one  
>And we'll share and share alike with you and love you like a son<br>We're gentlemen of fortune and that's what we're proud to be  
>And when you're a professional pirate<br>You'll be honest brave and free  
>The soul of decency<br>You'll be loyal and fair and on the square  
>And most importantly<br>When you're a professional pirate  
>You're always in the best of company<p> 


End file.
